I'm just being me.

So instead of doing anything that's actually productive, I made MSN display pics with all of my textbooks.

Happy studies, folks.

I am now an expert at Chem Topic 9

My anode brings all the anions to the yard,
And they're like, "You're positive!"
"Darn" right, I'm positive,
I could reduce you, but I'd have to "charge."

Contrary to popular belief, I actually have a lot of fun at 2:30am on MSN. 

Move it, move it.

It's time to move it move it, fatty. Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to you. Too much energy has been stored as lipids for long-term energy storage for two reasons: there's too much of it and it's not being used up well enough in the short-term. Here's evidence:


February 2010: thunder-thighs, much? 



Fat spilling over your collar is just the most attractive look there is. 



March 2010: holy crap at my stomach here. It looks like somebody tried to stuff a pear into a jar and then turn it around, except the pear's wearing a rather nice shirt and the jar would be my pants.  


And now, it's time for some comparisons.

March 2009: I liked being a size small, thank you very much.

August 2009: is my torso bulging out here in any way? No! In fact, the shirt's even rumpled from not having to stretch itself over any extra masses of skin. 



November 2009: So I wasn't exactly the epitome of fitness, but you don't see my stomach flying all over the place, do you? I was even wearing white here, too. 


I suppose it's something that I've always dreaded and somewhat denied (partially to the allegations of those around me claiming that I'm still skinny), but the truth is overly obvious: I've become fat again. I'm guessing it's a result of eating too much (darn that box of Turtles!) and not exercising as a result of exhaustion and stress from both piano and IB. This calls for only one solution: eating less, eating better, and exercising way more. I'm even standing up to do my studying now, as opposed to sitting. I somehow feel much more fit while doing so, and the chances of me falling asleep on my somewhat comfy computer chair are obviously lessened significantly, too. Thus, I'm definitely going to try to exercise when I'm not too stressed and/or tired and the weather's okay. Of course, I could try and convert the fat to muscle, but that's too much effort.  Besides, I think I'd rather be sleek than super beefy. Could you imagine me as some beefed up Asian dude? On the other hand, I don't exactly want to be next in line for the next Buddha or end up looking like the equivalent of this:


Oh snap. 

When I was 9.

As the end begins to approach more and more, I can't help but think of the past. Before, if I ever did choose to look back to those times, I'd often adopt the mindset that all of it was pointless and menial. Thus, I reject it and tend to consider that period of my life as a rather bad, meaningless one.

However, the more I think of it, the more I begin to wonder: do I miss that life? Do I miss spending my entire day on the computer and having my MSN contacts list consisting mainly of people I don't know? Did I enjoy talking to people ten years older than me? Who knows.

It's funny how the smallest things in life tend to effect me so much. Even though others would see them as small, insignificant and nothing to truly consider that much, I suppose that sort of judgment will change for every person. In fact, when I think of it now, I would also consider it as rather lame. Unfortunately, it's embedded as a part of my past and my growing up. I suppose there's not much else to do other than to embrace it fully with open arms.

Wash It All Away

Whenever something is too unpleasant, too shameful for us to entertain, we reject it: we erase it from our memories. But, the imprint is always there.