And what I wanna do...

And what I wanna do
Is ride shotgun next to you
With the top down like we used to
Hit the block proud in the SUV
But we both know our bond is breaking
Can we learn from our mistakes
I can't last one moment alone

For whatever reason, I want summer to just be here. Driving around in the summer sunset near the beach or something? Awesome. Those are the summer nights with minimal cares and no homework, doing whatever and staying up till whenever.

If I actually manage to get my N at the end of June, I so want to reduce my home-time to a bare minimum. Well, yeah, I have to do piano, piano history, and physics, but that takes up about half my day (depending on when I get up, of course).

Now, that other half... the opportunities are endless. Can't wait.

Too Cute!

So I somehow ended up on Neopets, reliving my childhood.. Ahem...
Omg, they're all like... actually too cute. LOL

LOL fashion tranny reject much:

Which one? Sigh.

Modern Furniture Gonanza

So, instead of doing TOK, biology, French, history, etc. etc., I went online and looked at MODERN FURNITURE. =D

If I ever move into this apartment on Robson/Homer that my parents bought, I'm so putting all this stuff in:

I've always wanted some couches like that!

Love the TV, and the little square couches!


Seriously, like, the coolest bed on the face of the earth...


Imagine lounging around outside in that chair...

Alas, the drooling must end for now, for my homework load *cough* calls.

2:13am

2:13am blogging. Good times. So, what's on my mind right now that leads me to come to my blog?

Looking at some friends photos and such, I'm wondering why I can't have a normal high school experience like them. Not-so-crazy workload, parties, going out for dinners, wild nights... Not that I'm particularly into all of that, but a little excitement in my life wouldn't be too horrible now, would it?

That kind of life will always be impossible to me, though. At least while I'm in IB. I just simply don't have the time to do all of that stuff (unless I suddenly wanted to start completely epic failing). It's times like these where I could have my N, because it would mean freedom. I could do what I wanted, almost-whenever I wanted, but, most importantly, wherever I wanted. No longer would I have to recoil from events because of

On the other hand, I won't be able to do much with my N because of the workload that IB gives me. So, what does this mean? I can't wait to graduate even more. I think the desire for the end of my high school experience always comes during this last stretch of the year, between spring break and the end of the school year. I remember feeling this way last year, especially after the first Phosphy meet.

I'm surprised at how quickly time goes by; there's less than 6 weeks until my French exam - eep!

I just... wish that time would move a little more quickly. I know that a lot of people seem to have the most depressing grad year because they'll soon be leaving high school and not seeing their friends everyday. Me? Who knows. Maybe I'll feel that way, maybe not, but whatever happens, I suppose I must learn to accept it when it comes.

Easter

So that's basically what I'll be doing all Easter weekend. Let's see, shall we?

I must:

• Math portfolio on log laws
• Plan my TOK essay, and then actually write it
• Learn this next Bio unit
• Fill out CAS forms
  
• Study French
• Plan my EE research topic and outline

I have:

• Friday: piano festival at night, do MATH PORTFOLIO
  
• Saturday: Team Cuba hangout from mid-afternoon on
• Sunday: Metrotown, afternoon
• Monday: TOK ESSAY DAY

All the other stuff, I'll have to cram in there somewhere... It kinda sucks when your homework is more of an ongoing thing...

You stilled my heart, and you take my breath away.

This week has been pretty hectic! If somebody had told me that I was going to have great sufferings during my first week back in Cuba, I probably would've spent one of the beach days in tears. :P Whatever, at least it's over! It's weird; I haven't been this happy to just survive a week for quite a while.

So, what's happened this week? History IA, biology quiz/test (103% - what a relief =P), math quizzes (haha epic fail on Friday), chem quizzes (wow, that one question...), and French papers. Ugh, I totally failed that paper 2 on Friday... It was about how I disapprove of a movie, and I wrote something soo crappy...

I don't know why, but I've also been SUPER tired lately. I'm not even jetlagged, like Tanzania or something... Cuba's only 3 hours away. =/ On Friday, I definitely felt like I was on the verge of dying when I got home.

So, what have I been thinking about lately? It's spiritual, actually. After coming back from Outreach and hearing about everybody else's stories about their experiences in other countries and their lessons from God, I wonder if we can really maintain our fire and passion for Him, even as the weeks go on and our to-do lists grow even more and more. Spending 2 weeks in Cuba, away from piano, away from tests, away from internal assessments, isolating myself from the world... Could I truly label it as blissful ignorance? I suppose that definitely brought me closer to Him. I was able to focus on God so much more, because I was unblinded by millions of other factors.

I just really hope that we can truly be on fire for God at all times, and especially during our times of need and/or joy. I remember one of the things I wanted to accomplish this year was to remember to look to God at all times, even when I'm happy and especially when I feel like I"m completely lost and there's nobody to turn to. I just hope I can remember that in the months to come.

What's weird is that "Everything" is still at the top of my music playlist. You'd think I'd get sick of listening to it over and over while watching the skit in Cuba, but I swear that experience just made me appreciate the song even more, especially the line from the title *points* and the chorus:

"And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?"

Really, how can we just stand there, in His creation, and not appreciate everything that He's done for us? Instead, we drift away from Him and involve ourselves with sin, and we become blinded from Him and ignore Him. And yet, he's always there, however subtle, wanting us to come back to Him and realize that we've got ourselves in a lot of trouble. By doing this, even if the things from our past are haunting us, He'll always have some way to step in and destroy those things, because He's just so much more powerful than they are.

It kinda makes me feel bad... but at the same time, it inspires me to just desire and seek God all the more. How awesome. =D

Anyways, last night, I finally finished my History IA. =D What a relief, it feels like a huuuuge weight has been lifted... Now, I just have piano and a bit of French to do today, and I'm scott-free! xP Maybe I'll blog some more... naaah. Haha.